| Sep. 18th, 2004 @ 05:45 pm Grr... |
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Well something is really bothering me. See i posted this ad on this website called Craigslist.com and i posted it in the "casual encounters" section hoping that maybe someone out there is actually real and whatever.
Is that all you want? a dick? are you sure? - m4w - 22
Date: 2004-09-10, 2:05PM EDT
I cant help but wonder if all you ladies only want some guy to stick it in you. I mean what about the rest? what about the caressing and the nibbling? What about just laying together and knowing that someone else is there and that your not alone in this crazy mixed up mess of emotions we call life?
Well if you have any interest in a neck massage, a foot massage, some good conversation with a down to earth guy, maybe let me play with your hair, or kiss you softly all over your body. Why dont you call the shots, tell me what YOU want. Because after all, you're the important one here.
So this girl replies to me, the only one, and she really sparks my interest. That doesnt happen very often but when it does i tend to fuck things up simply by thinking to much. because obviously i give a little more attention to the things i'm interested in, like for example... this girl has my number, and i have no desire to talk to her, so everytime she calls, I ignore her call sure i'm an ass whatever, this girl is weird trust me. Anyways, If i am interested in something i tend to over think it or atleast pay cloe attention to it. So this girl replies to me with the following message...
I haven't had a relationship in a while. It's not really so much the sex that I miss. I miss someone holding me in their arms and smelling my hair and telling me I'm beautiful. Just once I want to go to bed at night and not have to hug my pillow. I want the kissing and cuddling and watching movies that you don't pay attention to. Wanna help?
I emailed her back.... and she replied once again...
Dear Josh,
Thanks for making me feel like there are decent men in the world. It seems like everyone I talk to or go on a date with just expects me to sleep with them because I'm pretty. I'm 21 and in my senior year of college. It's been a really hard year for me. I got really depressed over the summer, and I don't feel like it's getting any better. I just want someone that I can talk to and be myself with who will actually listen and respect me without seeing me as an object to be had. Not to mention, I really like cuddling and you can rub my feet anytime :) I know it's sudden and soon, but I would really like to meet you. This is really odd for me. One of my friends got me hooked on reading Craigslist. I've never actually wanted to respond until now. I live north of Atlanta, but I don't mind driving a little while.
Then i emailed her back and we talked a bit more and i told her i was in a chair and she seemed totally cool with it, totally fine, even made little jokes about stuff i said... like i said i wanted to get a shirt that said... "I'm not any different than you, i'm just faster" and she said something to the effect of, "p.s. I'm faster than you, so forget that shirt! ;-)" and it just made me totally think she was down with it...
I may even be jumping the gun here, but for some reason i am this complete moron who loves to jump the gun! I dont know why I cant just forget about this girl and wait for a reply, even if it takes a month. I know people are busy, as i get busy myself, but blah! why does this have to even happen. I feel like it's the chair again, like she's realizing what she said about it and that i'm in one and stuff. I have been able to avoid this little journey for some time now and i dont understand why i'm doing it again. If i could just forget about her totally until she emails me back, if she does, then great... if not, whatever. But something about her just struck me the right way, she just seemed to open and so willing to be a true friend... i mean read it! "I just want someone that i can talk to and be myself about" I WANT TO BE THAT PERSON for her. Gah! i want to be there for someone like that... I want to have a deep friendship with a girl, to understand her and her feelings and what she is thinking and feeling. Its been almost 5 days since she has said anything, and she did mention she wanted to stop by on friday (yesturday) and i never heard from her. I guess it doesnt REALLY matter as there are loads of people out there to be close with, its just that it felt so damn close this time. there are like 4 or 5 more emails back and forth and she just seemed like a really cool girl. If she doesnt email me back by next friday i'm seriously going to lose it... even a "fuck off freak boy" works for me.. I'm just so tired of people, i'm so damn sick of the human race. Blah! |
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